


DRIFT:DESIRE

by demonsonthemoon



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 03:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5360168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsonthemoon/pseuds/demonsonthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Her bones long to be made of metal. Her mind dreams of infinity."</p>
<p>A character study piece focusing on Mako and Raleigh's first drift from Mako's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DRIFT:DESIRE

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was mostly written during my General Linguistics classes because 1. it was NaNoWriMo 2. I was late on my word-count 3. those classes were really boring.

_Drift <Dutch : Noun : desire_

  


“Aren't you gonna say anything?”

Mako looks at Raleigh and grins so widely her cheeks hurt a little. He returns her smile in a warm manner, telling her there's no need to. Mako knows. They'll soon be sharing each other's thoughts and memories. They'll make one, the two of them and Gypsy Danger united in a sole stream of consciousness.

“You look good.”

She feels too small already, crushed under the weight of her drivesuit. Her bones long to be made of metal. Her mind dreams of infinity.

The Drift. A way to lose yourself and to find yourself, both in more complete ways than ever before. She has drifted before, in simulations, but she knows the experiences cannot be compared. Pilots always say the same thing: drifting in a simulator is like lighting up a match. In a Jaeger, it feels like fireworks.

Mako steps on the platform on her side of the machine and feels the controls attach to her drivesuit. She feels safe inside the Connpod, knows it like the back of her hand. She turns towards Raleigh. His smile is enraptured in the same way she is. Mako feels pride swell in her chest as she puts her helmet on.

The Neural Handshake is electricity, aligning their bodies and their synapses. The Drift is initiated, and Raleigh and Mako are one. They walk together through a tunnel of memories. Together and around each other and inside one another. They peep at each other's past, and it always feels like theirs, and after a second they fall back to a shared present.

The machine is a hovering presence around them, sparks of joy and recognition. She feels warm, like her core and her metal body.

The Drift is silence. Or, more exactly, it is a single stream of immediate thoughts and instincts.

They go through their drills, going from one standard position to the other. Their connection is strong. It hums with pleasure and pride and a sense of belonging.

But as they take a defensive stance, a memory pops up in their shared headspace. Their connection burns with pain, and Mako watches her copilot be dragged out of the Coonpod. Except this is not Raleigh. She is witnessing Yancy's death and Raleigh is falling out of alignment so Mako reaches out and...

The ground shakes beneath her feet. Tears are streaming down her face and she can taste salt and dirt on her lips. The red shoe she is holding is heavy, and brand new, and so pretty but it fell and now Mako's sock is torn and her foot hurts and she does not know where her parents are.

She looks up, and a monster is destroying the city, coming right towards her. Mako tries to run, but doesn't have the strength. So she hides behind a dumpster, makes herself small even though she is already tiny. She tries to bite back her sobs, not sure if it will make a difference.

The ground shakes again. And again. The giant steps are getting closer.

Mako freezes. The monster is right there, a few meters away from her. She remembers her father talking with her mother, telling her that he wants to work, that if he has to die he wants to die fighting. Her father was supposed to go to the hospital. She does not know where he is. But Mako wants to fight. For her family.

She stands up and raises her arms. She is small. She is powerless. But there is someone... something... that wants to help her, to protect her.

Mako feels power surge through her body, energy building in her fingertips. She screams and...

Everything goes black. She feels herself fall backwards and is picked up by someone. There are arms around her, hands that grapple at her helmet and take it off.

Mako breathes.

Mako wants to cry.

Mako wants to stand up and try again, but relaxes into Raleigh's embrace.

This is what drifting is.

Having someone bare before you.

Having to face yourself.

The desire to be better.


End file.
